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Kristen Stewart, our patron saint of queer girl grunge, got married to Dylan Meyer on 4/20 (hell yeah) in, as The Daily Mail described it, a “VERY casual wedding.” They’re both wearing short sleeves and mini skirts, Stewart’s a set with a T-shirt layered underneath and Meyer’s a silk dress with a sheer top. Meyer’s hair is pulled back into a bouncy ponytail and topped with a long black bow, while Stewart’s hair is down and slightly wavy, a bright blonde shade with an inch or so of dark roots.
It’s those dark roots that have apparently lit a little Bunsen burner under the blood of people who spend time in comments sections, bringing it to a wretched boil. How could a woman show up to her wedding day—her WEDDING. DAY.—looking like she rolled out of bed? How could she forget to book a root touch up before her WEDDING DAY, the most important day of a woman’s LIFE? One comment that reads “The regrowth is killing me” has over 1,500 likes as I write this.
This is, in a word, deranged. How someone else—whether it’s your friend or sister or offspring or a celebrity who has no idea you exist—wears their hair at their own wedding is certainly not your business. The idea that messy-ish hair is somehow offensive to the sanctity of marriage (a tradition that generally has left women with the short end of the stick) is laughable in a time when around 50% of these unions still end in divorce. I find it more offensive that a photographer who clearly wasn’t invited took these photos surreptitiously, though I recognize that being a highly compensated celebrity comes with a certain level of privacy forfeiture.
Yes, I am still using the surreptitiously taken photos because I know you want to see what all the fuss is about.
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Just like these commenters don’t know anything about Kristen Stewart, I don’t know anything about the commenters. While what I consider frivolous displays of wealth (in this economy?!) generally leave a bad taste in my mouth, I don’t hold any animosity toward people who want a big ceremony with the picture-perfect hair and makeup and nails that come with it. But, in my experience, criticism like what Stewart is getting tends to come from a place of jealousy. Jealousy that she doesn’t appear to have undergone months or years of stress and planning and cash dropping that we’ve been conditioned to believe are required in order to have a wedding. Jealousy that she seems to be having a great time, even though she doesn’t look like what you think a bride has to look like.
I am a person who tried for about three months to plan a wedding. I started spreadsheets and Pinterest boards and reached out to venues who kindly let me know they were already booked for the next two years but would be happy to receive a five-figure deposit for a ceremony in 36 months. Every single moment of that attempted planning piled on stress and anxiety as I tried to figure out what my and my partner’s version of a wedding would look like if we didn’t want to drop half a mortgage on a single day (or make all our own wine for the guests, as one post on the r/Weddingsunder$10K suggested as a “money saving tip”). Eventually, we both said “fuck this!” and have gone happily back to being technically engaged with no pressure to actually tie the proverbial knot.
But a wedding like Stewart’s and Meyer’s, who undoubtedly have amounts of money unimaginable to me and yet opted for an affordable-looking backyard ceremony, might be exactly the inspiration I needed. So I say thank you, Kristen, for forgoing the 12-month 85-appointment wedding beauty prep regimen that has become standard. You are a reminder that getting married can be, first and foremost, just about having a fun party with your best friends. And if you don’t have time for a root touchup beforehand? Who cares.
Don’t worry! If you do want to get your hair done for your wedding, we’ve got plenty of inspo:
The Allure Editors’ Guide to Wedding Hair, Makeup, and Everything In Between
11 Tips for Picking a Wedding Hairstyle You’ll Love Forever
8 Natural Bridal Hairstyles That Will Elevate Your Wedding Day Look
Now, watch this:
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Originally Appeared on Allure
