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• Surprise! Bethesda has re-materialised a classic Elder Scrolls game from the ether and released it onto PC, PS5 and Xbox Series X/S immediately. It’s even on Game Pass, so if you’re a subscriber you can download its magical 120 gigabytes and play it without any more money changing hands.
• They call these zero-PR releases shadow drops, but that’s a bit of a misnomer because firstly we saw it coming last week thanks to some leaked screenshots, and secondly, far from being a low-profile, shadowy happening, this release is about as thunderous as games industry events get. We’ve already forgotten what happened in Starfield, and about the last 19 different re-releases of Skyrim. It’s all about Oblivion Remastered now.
• So go forth into the world map with these words of wisdom from some crusty old questers who were there the first time Oblivion came out in 2006, and make sure you tick off these five essential activities along your way.
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• Oblivion’s starting sequence is beyond famous: you begin in a dank prison cell, escape through some sewer tunnels and after about half an hour of fumbling along in the dark through moist rock, you see it: a circle of light at the end of the tunnel. The outside world.
• That feeling of freedom, of boundless possibilities, when you emerge from the tunnel and see the Cyrodiil open world map sprawling out before you for the first time, has never been beaten since. What should you do with that freedom?
• You should steal a horse.
• There are many good reasons why. Firstly, because you can. Secondly, because you’ll see one within two minutes of leaving the sewer tunnel, and thirdly because in a staggering oversight on the developer’s part, there are no cars in Oblivion so horses are your quickest mode of transportation. It’s the perfect early-game expression of freedom, adventure and swashbuckling spirit, and it’ll hasten your ability to do everything else on this list.

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• Next up, you’ll want to engage in some gladiatorial combat in the Imperial City’s east district. Speak to Owyn the Blademaster at the Bloodworks outside the arena and he’ll offer you a trial fight. Win that and you’ll move up the ranks and fight someone – or something – tougher.
• There’s a strong ancient Rome influence to the Empire, so it makes sense that its denizens like to pass the time by filing into an arena and watching people like you fighting to the death.
• What’s in it for you, besides the chance to indulge your inner Russell Crowe? Cold, hard cash. The Arena works like a guild – the more activities you complete there, the higher your esteem among the people who run it, and the bigger the rewards.
• Progressing through the Arena fights also brings about one of Oblivion’s most iconic, memed-to-death elements: the Adoring Fan. Speaking of…
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Go ‘mountaineering’ with the Adoring Fan

• Now, this is going to sound cruel. If this is your first time playing Oblivion, it will not be immediately clear why one might wish to take an NPC called ‘Adoring Fan’, who just wants to love you and carry your stuff, up to a precipitous mountain edge and let 19-year-old physics take their course. So let’s explain.
• Bethesda very skillfully made this NPC the most annoying entity of all time. He’s got hair like an ice cream cone. He uses words only small children might say, like ‘Gee!’ but has the voice of a veteran Shakespearean actor. And above all, he’s unbearably obsequious. All you did was whack some monsters in the Arena until you attained the Grand Champion title. Now you’ve got a hanger-on who’s treating you like a deity.
• The ultimate rite of passage in Oblivion is to let the Adoring Fan follow you while you embark up the sheerest mountain you can find (Cloud Top is a good one) and recreate this moment.

Find the missing painter in Cheydinhal

• This is one of the game’s most creative, surprising and engrossing quests, and it’s well clear of the critical path. Pop over to the picturesque town of Cheydinhal and you’ll hear rumours of a painter named Rythe Lythandas who has recently disappeared. Find his wife, and she’ll issue you a side quest that shakes up your perception of what a quest can be in Oblivion.
• To say more would be to spoil all the joy of the quest, but it’s a visual treat and, for once, doesn’t require you to clear any rats out of tavern basements.

Visit the Shivering Isles

• All the expansion packs that were originally released for Oblivion are in this Remastered release, which means you get the chance to pop over to an absolutely bonkers location: the Shivering Isles.
• You’ll receive a message informing you that a strange structure has appeared in the Niben Bay region. Journey over there on your stolen horse and you’ll find a grotesque stone statue of angry faces, one of which has opened its mouth to form a portal.
• What lies beyond that portal is pure strangeness. It’s Bethesda touching base with the landscapes and esoterica of Morrowind, Oblivion’s 2002 predecessor. Odd fungi-like trees, desert landscapes, culty goings-on and a pervading sense of surrealism to counterbalance the Imperial City’s traditional Euro-fantasy aesthetic. Essential content.

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