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We all knew Coldplay concerts were a buzzworthy affair, but who knew the band would out an actual affair?
That’s what concertgoers are saying after a couple — identified as Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and the company’s chief human resources officer, Kristin Cabot — were caught on the jumbotron in an intimate embrace during Coldplay’s show in Boston Wednesday night. Their initially sweet reaction instantly turned to shock as they ducked and hid their faces from the camera, while frontman Chris Martin declared on stage, “Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy,” according to social media videos.
Turns out, it could be the former. Byron appears to be married, while Cabot is reportedly recently divorced. Neither of them have officially commented on the incident, nor has Martin or the band. Still, the caught-on-camera moment has gone viral, with commentators having a field day online. One savvy Etsy seller has also jumped on the bandwagon, offering merch that reads “I Took My Sidepiece To The Coldplay Concert And It Ruined My Life” (see it here). The sweatshirt only costs $34.99 for shoppers, but for the two people involved in the soft rock scandal, you can’t put a price on embarrassment.
Coldplay are in the middle of their “Music of the Spheres” tour, which wraps in a couple of weeks. Whether you’re looking for something to wear to their show or something to hide away in the crowd, here’s the best Coldplay concert merch (and concert disguises) to find online now.
Amazon
$4.49 $6.55 31% off
Ah yes, the classic moustache, eyebrows and dark-rimmed glasses disguise! Works every time (we think). Amazon has this version on sale for just $5 and the site says more than 200 people have purchased it in the last few weeks alone, though we can’t be sure exactly why… See more novelty disguises here.
Amazon
Amazon also sells this pullover mask, which can be customized with a face photo of your choice. Consider printing the mask with a photo of Chris Martin, maybe Gwyneth Paltrow or y’know, the actual spouse of the person you’re cuddling.
Amazon
$17.99 $20.99 14% off
This Amazon deal gets you a two-pack of polarized sunglasses in a classic Wayfarer-style silhouette so you can stay looking cool — and loved up discreetly.
Bonus: take an additional 10% off with promo code 6N7Z4KQU at checkout.
Amazon
$19.99 $23.99 17% off
We like this camo-print shirt, which comes in an contemporary, oversized fit. This would probably help you blend in well to a Coldplay concert at an outdoor amphitheater or music festival.
The now-viral moment has already made its way into fashion. As the product description on Etsy states, “Whether you lived it or just love chaos, this tee is a whole mood. Inspired by the now-legendary viral tweet, this hilarious and slightly tragic shirt is perfect for those who love drama (from a distance), heartbreak, or just really ironic fashion.”
Amazon
Of course, the best way to fit it (or blend in) at a Coldplay concert is by sporting their official merch, and Amazon has a number of Coldplay T-shirts, hoodies and accessories available online.
This T-shirt features the words “Love is the Only Answer” around a custom logo created for the band’s latest album, Moon Music.
Amazon
The Moon Music album cover art also inspired this T-shirt, which features a rainbow-colored heart on the chest.
Amazon
The “Love is the Only Answer” T-shirt is also available as a larger graphic tee in black. Choose from sizes small to 6XL online.
Amazon
Another Amazon merch exclusive is this Coldplay Moon Music hoodie, which is made from a cozy cotton blend material with kangaroo pockets and a drawstring hood.
Amazon
If you’re really desperate to stay anonymous, you can always pull a balaclava over your head but uh… wear at your own risk: you may not even be able to get into the stadium wearing this, let alone make it onto the jumbotron.
Amazon
And if you really want to avoid getting into a similar situation, consider re-upping your HR knowledge. I’m sure it says somewhere in the manual that employees should not be cuddling with their boss. When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse? The answer is yes. Yes it can be worse.
